


Circles

by skizos



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Confused Hwang Hyunjin, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Friends to Lovers, Love Confessions, M/M, Yang Jeongin is DONE, allusion to an emotional breakdown/anxiety attack, i actually want to take care of him, the pov changes in the middle of it because jeongin just stops thinking, word vomiting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-27
Updated: 2020-06-27
Packaged: 2021-03-03 21:13:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,227
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24952132
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/skizos/pseuds/skizos
Summary: Jeongin looks down for a second just to feel his heart speeding up seeing Hyunjin's left cheek pressed against his chest.After all this time, he was still stupidly in love with his best friend.or: Hyunjin seems to be oblivious to Jeongin's feelings, or at least that's what Jeongin thinks.
Relationships: Hwang Hyunjin/Yang Jeongin | I.N
Comments: 2
Kudos: 91





	Circles

**Author's Note:**

> hi!!!! i just noticed i have a pattern of posting once a month and i kinda liked this aesthetic so i'm going to keep it
> 
> the next time i post it will probably be a chaptered fic. if im not too insecure about it
> 
> anyways, enjoy~

Five years.

Jeongin had been Hyunjin's best friend for _five_ years.

_Five years._

They had seen each other graduate, get into university, cry about their first semester failure, or in Hyunjin's case, his first love delusion. Jeongin had helped Hyunjin move out of his parent's house into his new apartment, crowded but cozy, in which they were in right now, casually watching a movie while cuddling on the couch.

Jeongin looks down for a second just to feel his heart speeding up seeing Hyunjin's left cheek pressed against his chest.

After all this time, he was still stupidly in love with his best friend.

Everyday Jeongin would lie awake in his bed, wondering how the day would've gone if he just kissed Hyunjin when he had the opportunity. If he hadn't dodged his PDA in that coffee shop the other day. If the last time they said "I love you" to each other, he had added a simple but straightfoward "more than a friend".

Jeongin wouldn't trade what they have for the world, though. He loves being Hyuniin's best friend, his drunk call, his shoulder to cry on even though he never had any advice to give, just his support. He wouldn't ruin the friendship they build over five years in five seconds, with a stupid confession that had a certain odd to go wrong. In a path that ended up with Jeongin alone, crying everyday, craving his best friend's warmth and love. In whatever way Hyunjin loved him, it was enough.

But boy, was it tiring.

He knew how this night would end: They were probably gonna sleep in Hyunjin's bed, maybe talk a bit before if they're not too tired. Jeongin would wake up first and leave a note saying he had a class to attend and storm off. Best case scenario, Hyunjin would wake up and force him to eat something that isn't his protein bars. It has been like that for _five years._

He also knew what would happen in the next fourty minutes of the movie they were watching: Hyunjin would laugh, maybe cry a bit, and Jeongin would follow whatever reaction he was having like he had not been spacing out the whole time.

He also knew they were doing movie night next week as well.

And the next. And the next.

And the next.

Jeongin was going to sleep those six days with the same "what if's" torturing him. The spare day, that he would sleep with Hyunjin, he would try to focus on the celling infiltration to not kiss the adorable pout in the elder's lips.

It was a pattern. A never-ending cycle.

Jeongin's jaw suddently trembled. His legs felt wobbly, and his arms were numb. Suddently, all he could see was a white light coming from the place where the drama was supposed to be playing. He tried to hold whatever he has spilling in. Not now. You did this for five years, you can do it now.

You have done it too much.

Allow yoursef a little.

"Innie?"

A soft voice anchored him, and looking at Hyunjin right now, so close yet so far away, Jeongin wasn't sure if he himself was even real.

"Jeongin? Are you okay?"

A sob came out of his mouth before he could hold it in. And now he was crying.

A lot.

"Hey, hey, hey..." Hyunjin said soothingly, gathering the crying boy into his arms. "It's okay. Let it out, let it all out..."

That only made Jeongin cry _more._ Hyunjin always advised him to suck it up, to be stronger than that. And it has been working pretty well.

But hearing that he _finally__ gets to let it all out was overwhelming. He pushed Hyunjin away, and looked up to his friend who had a scared, worried expression painting his pretty, oh, beautiful features.

"I like you!" He says in an almost silent scream, the words craving to leave his chest in waves. "And it has— been eating— me— alive!" He says between sobs.

If Hyunjin wasn't surprised, he managed to fake it pretty well.  
  
  


"I thought I would— get used to— it but—" He managed to say, the sobs making it very difficult to understand. "It only made it— worse! I— can't— do this— anymore!"

Jeongin held Hyunjin's unreadable gaze before breaking down completly, hiding his head behind his knees while hugging them and _screaming_ like it would make it any better. Hyunjin took the opportunity to approach him, placing his hand on top of Jeongin's knee like his touch could burn him. Jeongin visibly shook, and Hyunjin tried to do to him what his other friend, Seungmin, taught him to do when someone is panicking.

"How long?" He asked, trying to not sound too demanding. Like Jeongin could just ignore his question if he wanted to.

The smaller boy slowly lifted his head up, surprisingly not trying to avoid eye-contact at all. "Too long," He breathed out, lower lip wobbly.

Hyunjin looked at the floor for a couple of seconds, just to remind himself that his priority right now was _distracting_ Jeongin. "How much?" He asked in the same tone.

"Too much."

Hyunjin nodded, feeling his own lips go wobbly. "I see," He nodded again, avoiding eye-contact. He then caressed the area between Jeongin's knee and thigh reassuringly. "Jeongin, I—

"No."

Hyunjin's head shot up almost immediatly, and he was sure he heard a snap.

"Don't. Whatever— Whatever you have to say, whether it's good or bad—" The sobs had lowered in intensity, and Hyunjin felt relieved that he managed to distract him from the cloud of anxiety that must have been messing his head up. "I don't want to hear it, now. I— I just..."

Terrified by letting Jeongin come back to his panicked state, Hyunjin pushed his knees down gently and engulfed him into a soft, but still tight hug. He heard a whine from the younger, who hesitated before hugging back and melting against Hyunjin's warm embrace.

They stayed like that for a couple of minutes, and Hyunjin's head went blank.

He was so confused.

He cannot say he never smiled dumbly to himself imagining how would it be if he and Jeongin were a couple. But that was normal, right? Everyone had a soft spot for the lovely boy, anyway.

He didn't wanted to think of how the younger cracked his insides and made him all bubbly just by existing. He didn't wanted to actually contemplate his feelings right now, and what they truly meant all this time.

This moment is Jeongin's.

After a solid silent moment, Hyunjin felt the boy between his arms grow heavier, and the hands that were holding his shoulders go softer. Leaning back slowly, he managed to fit a half-asleep Jeongin over him, laying between his legs like he belonged there.

Reaching for the remote, he turned off the forgotten movie and the living room went awfully dark. He shivered, hugging Jeongin a little bit tighter.

Jeongin went to sleep to Hyunjin stroking his hair, and the elder mindlessly mutted "I like you too" against his strands, even if he's not sure. Even if it's too dangerous. Even if he wouldn't even remember it by the morning.

There were only two options: to like Jeongin, and to _not_ like Jeongin.

And Hyunjin would never choose to not like Jeongin.  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> im very unfamiliar with this pairing (this is actually my first time writing them) so i hope i didnt mess up!!! feedbacks are really welcome in this household!!!
> 
> thank you for reading ✨


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